It's horrible to think that within the span of a year, the person you thought you couldn't live without becomes the very fucking bane of your existence. If I'd gone home to my own place, where it was just me, do you think I'd be crying right now because I'm trapped and frustrated? After being free for a week, I feel worse than ever. I'm honest to god in a prison, and I'm made to feel guilty for thinking that way. I'm made to feel guilty for EVERYTHING I DO. I'm so tired of it.
Her VOICE is grating on every one of my nerves, and it's not really fair to her but it's not fair to me either. And every time I even think about moving out, she cries about how she won't be able to afford the farm, or whatever else she can't do without me, and I'm stuck. If I move out now, I'll look like the biggest asshole in the world. Like, I appreciate the things she does for me, she's my mom and she's raised me and supported me my entire life, but I'm twenty-four. I think its time I lived my own life, you know?
But then I'm the ungrateful bitch who left.
I fucking hate everything about my life. Every goddamn thing.
Oh and apparently because I'm angry that AMA is fucking us over on my car, that means I'm angry at her? Like how does that even fucking work? I'll accept the options given to us because I don't have a choice, but that doesn't mean I have to be fucking happy about it. Like she tells me all this shit and expects me to just be like, "Oh yeah, that's wonderful, at least my car is getting fixed!" Okay, but I take the blame, my mom's insurance takes a hit, when it's not our fault. All because AMA has shitty customer service and won't own up to their towing company actually damaging my car. So I'm angry, yes, and I said that maybe I wouldn't go with AMA because they're clearly fucking shit at dealing with customers and she says, "Oh well, it's a one off thing, there's no precedence..." You're trying to tell me there's no precedence for a tow truck company CLEARLY damaging my car, with two witnesses? The mechanics SAY it's tow truck damage? Only AMA tow trucks have towed it?
So yeah, I WANT to hire Lawyers because this is complete bullshit. I can't, because obviously I don't have the money. I don't even have the money to pay the fucking deductible. I took my car in for a fucking serpentine belt. That's it. I shouldn't have to pay $500 out of my own goddamn pocket when I didn't cause the damage. And my mom offers to pay for half, which I don't want her to do because 1) it's not her car and 2) she'll just use it against me (over and over and fucking over again.)
So is it wrong for me to be upset? No, so stop making me feel like it is!
FUCK I just want to fucking rage quit. I want to start over. I want to run away and lead a new life. I'm just tired of being fucked over and being treated like it's my fault. Every fucking time.